You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
