I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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