Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
