4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
