I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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