I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
These tits shall not be calmed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
