You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i think i just lost a toe
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I did not marry a roomba.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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