He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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