And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I look better un-naked...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
