you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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