508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
