We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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