Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
