I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
