Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
