I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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