after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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