Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i think i just naturally attract stoners
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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