Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
