Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
