Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
