i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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