I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
