I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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