Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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