does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
