So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
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Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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