You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
