In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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