I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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