This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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