Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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