What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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