thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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