Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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