im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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