Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think I just sharted jello shots
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
