i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
