I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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