I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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