Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
