it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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