After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
