Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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