she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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