watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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