im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
