I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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