I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Floor bacon is actually really good
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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