spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I am available for nakedness
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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