Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
