How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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