Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
