it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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