so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think a kid would responsible me up
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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