Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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