Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
