So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
