I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
