Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize