He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
