Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
