did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
