I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
