Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
